Romance!

My husband and I are very good friends. Granted, women feel differently about this sort of thing to men, but to me, he is my best friend. We are also very good partners. We make a good team. It is the reason we've been able to slog through two manic years of redecorating, wedding planning, house selling and immigrating while avoiding the 50% statistic.

Yesterday I received a bit of advice that, at the time, seemed odd. I was advised to be diligent in romancing my husband to ensure that we don't become "just friends".

A bit of context is required here: I have seen many couples come together for the sake of children, finances, rationale or because they'd been dating for a period of time that deemed "marriage" as "the next step". I have also spent time with many couples who are happy together, but who are not friends. Before I met James, it was always a priority that whomever I dated and finally married, would be a friend, someone I can walk alongside for the rest of my life, after all, we've all heard the oft spoken words "the spark dies, there's more to a marriage than romance, you have to build a better foundation" etc etc. I really believed those words and put it in my mind that I wouldn't give romance a second thought. (Aha! Here I am giving it much more than just a second though.) The idea of "romance" was nice, but it seemed a bit cheesy and a bit superficial. After I met James, I reiterated my lacklustre for romance and I'm sure he was more than happy to oblige.

Now though, I am beginning to see wisdom in romance. Yes, it is superficial, and yes, it can be cheesy. But I'm starting to believe that there is something invaluable about taking the time to "woo" your spouse.

That being said, I have no idea how to be romantic. Candlelight, fireplace, music and wine just brings to mind an older generation and a vino-headache the day after. Watching the sunrise is something I often do when I get up early for a run, its not something I often share with my husband since he is not fond of early mornings. Romance still feels silly to me. Its not how James and I interact. We speak openly and often about all things, we connect when we're having fun and spend a lot of time with each other at the moment. I am starting to feel concerned that maybe we are missing an essential component in our relationship. But I remain stuck at the definition of romance. It has to be something that works for us.

Maybe, our understanding of romance is changing. Maybe we need to explore what romance could mean, rather than what it should.

This marriage lark is far more complicated than I realised - and I'm only on the first little bit!