Thursday, 22 March 2012

Food! Glorious Food!

...That's all that we live for! Well...not all...but its pretty central to my existence. Not in the "I need to fuel my body to survive" type of reliance, more the "I've already eaten this and that today, which means I still get to eat or want to eat or shouldn't eat" get the idea.

I wouldn't like to use the term "obsessed". It conjures images of crazed women, salivating, their eyes bulging over a slice of cake or posessively curling their bodies around a burger and fries (like the ones from Earl's..with avocado and basil mayonnaise).

I'd like to think that I am just one of those people that takes pleasure from cooking and eating good food. Though, even in typing that sentence my conscience tsk's at me disagreeably.

I suppose, if I were to be awfully honest, I take pleasure in shopping for food, preparing it, presenting it, serving it, as well as eating it. I do not however, take pleasure in denying myself the foods of my fancy. Especially since we have developed such a loving bond. When I'm stressed, it actually creates a chemical reaction that makes me feel calmer, relaxed and on par with the world. A chemical reaction! What a natural relationship!

 When I am in good spirits, it provides limitless options for celebration or simply socialisation.

Which brings me to the awfulness of my current state. A diet. (feel free to insert a "dum dum dum" at your leisure)

This is no ordinary diet. This does not involve "Eating well" or "cutting back on portions" or "limiting desserts to one per week". This is the no sugar, no dairy, no starch, 1000 calorie per day, rest your pancreas, burn your body's carbohydrate stores diet. This diet is serious.

The enormous amount of protein required per day leaves my hunger satisfied but mood, oh my
mood. My heart, my head and my body are LONGING for good food, for social meal times, desserts, and of course, the wonderful relief of stress. (I still feel that a slice of toast with peanut butter is far more therapeutic than a doctor's office). This diet is testing my will, my heart and my resources. But mostly its testing my motives and forcing me to be honest about my vanity.

Im still uncertain about how long I'll manage to stick to this diet, but the process is slowly eroding my misconceptions about body image, priorities and what my husband really finds attractive.

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

An unexpected blessing

In the past 7 days I have had 3 specific accounts of blessing. It has been both unexpected and enriching. At the end of a fabulously long skype session with one of my dearest friends last week, she offered to pray for me. I love it when people do that, but it always makes me feel a bit...uncomfortable. I often feel that a person's prayer is personal, intimate and for God, not me. Not being in the habit of turning down assistance or kindness, I agreed. Once she had finished praying with me and for me, my heart was fulfilled, and my hope renewed. An instantaneous consequence of bringing my fears and concerns to God's feet.

A couple of days later, while at work, I ran into a woman I had known years ago. We had only been introduced once or twice. I should say that know of her, rather than being acquainted with her. She was the wife of the Youth Pastor at the church I used to attend. I helped her shop and we started chatting about our husbands, football (not the American kind) and settling into a culture that looks the same, but feels very different. It was such a pleasant and uplifting conversation. I felt refreshed and had a few ideas to take home to James to help him with his struggle in settling in to life in Canada.

And lastly, today I met a friend for latte visit. We bought Starbucks, chatted for ages, walked through her neighbourhood, chatted some more, sat in her backyard while her daughter napped, chatted still more until I had to rush home for the usual chores and errands run. We chatted about the strenuous, serious aspects of our lives, about the fickle and the funny. We chatted about blonde hair, babies, fat thighs, lattes, summer plans, the cost of windows and our husbands. I was blessed a third time by our time together.

Three unexpected occasions of blessing in the span of a week. If that isn't an answer to prayer, I don't know what is!
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