I just wrote a post in our baby blog about the intense amount of stress we're facing at the moment. Now, I know that there will be people who will read this and think, "it's just a move, what's the big deal". Please understand that I am no stranger to packing up a life into boxes and moving house. My parents moved quite a bit when I was younger, we immigrated to Canada when I was teen, moved around some more, before I moved to England and then had to face a similar procedure of immigration to get back into Canada years later. I have packed and taped boxes galore, arranged deliveries and appointments, insurance and cargo and storage. But this takes the cake. This is not something to be taken light heartedly. The money, the documents, the appointments, the logistics, the phone calls, the money, the lack of money - have I mentioned money yet?
And so today, on closing day, while I wait for the lawyers office to call and say that the keys are ready to be picked up, I am reflecting and blogging, rather than cooking or cleaning or crossing items off my very long to-do list. Because - it makes me feel better.
And upon reflection, my pulse eases, my frown softens (thank heaven!) and I start to feel like a human being again, rather than a rabid animal frantically rushing from point A to point B responding to stimuli. Again I say, thank heaven.
It always amazes me how taking time to reflect on the blessings that God has given, really does alleviate anxiety and fear and want. Reflecting on your blessings is a blessing in itself! Amazing! And our blessings abound. We are so excited and so blessed to be able to be home-owners tonight. Our very own home. And considering the difficulty and immense cost involved, we feel even more fortunate to be in this position at our age.
We are facing parenthood, but it's not scary. Maybe we should be afraid, but we're not. We're taking one day at a time and looking forward to having a baby boy to add to our family. And while we forage into the unknown of parenting, we are both really confident that our love for each other will help us forge through whatever difficulty arises. And we have no doubt that there will be difficulties, but we're a team.
Aside from the usual blessings of health and employment and the support of extended family (I am not making light of them, but just taking a quick line to acknowledge them), I feel unbelievably blessed to be this man's wife. I have struggled with his training away from home and I have struggled with getting ready for the move on my own. Last night I remembered that he has been sleeping on a tiny cot in a building that is not dissimilar to an army-barrack. He gets up at 5:30am every day, slogs through training and classes and meetings, studies until midnight most evenings and still makes time for a phone call or skype. Its too easy to get caught up in our own miseries and frustrations and forget the work and sacrifice of others in our lives. I am thankful to be blessed with this relationship. I am thankful to have been reminded of this blessing. And I am so proud to be able to call James my husband, build a home and family together and enjoy the riches of just living.
We will be spending our weekend painting and stripping wallpaper, tearing up carpets and taking down doors. And as an added blessing - one that we were not able to have while living in England - we are being helped by my parents and their partners, my brother and his girlfriend and my sister-in-law. An army of workers to help us make our new house a home!